What I Learned from Reading The Next Conversation
I recently read The Next Conversation by Jefferson Fisher, and let me tell you—it’s fantastic for anyone wanting to level up their communication. As someone who works with leaders every day, I found myself nodding along with so much of what Fisher had to say. I want to share a few key takeaways that really stuck with me, especially when it comes to being assertive without coming off as rude.
Let’s face it: we’ve all done it. You’re in a meeting, sharing your opinion, and you find yourself saying things like, “I might be off here, but…” or “Maybe it’s just me, but I kind of think…” It sounds humble, but what you’re actually doing is underselling your voice. You’re signaling doubt before you’ve even had a chance to make your point. And over time, that can eat away at your credibility.
Fisher makes this point loud and clear: when we load up our speech with filler words—kind of, sort of, maybe, like—we dilute our message. I started paying attention to how often these little words sneak into conversations, and it’s eye-opening. Instead of saying, “I think we could maybe try this approach,” say, “Here’s what I recommend.” It’s not arrogant—it’s confident. And leaders, that’s what your team needs from you.
Another takeaway is how we tend to over-apologize or take the blame too quickly. Statements like “Maybe I heard it wrong,” or “I probably messed that up” might sound polite, but they can actually come across as insecure. And insecurity in your words makes people second-guess your leadership. A better approach? Own your perspective without apologizing for it. Fisher gives a great example—don’t say, “You can’t talk to me like that.”Instead, try, “I don’t respond to that.” It’s clear, calm, and sets a boundary without creating conflict.
One of my favorite ideas from the book is the “conversational breath.” It’s that intentional pause before responding. Just a beat of silence to collect your thoughts. I’ve started practicing this in my own conversations, and it’s amazing how much more grounded and thoughtful my words become when I’m not rushing to fill every gap with noise.
Communication isn’t about winning. It’s about connecting. And when you stop hedging, stop apologizing unnecessarily, and start speaking with clarity and purpose, you don’t just sound more confident—you actually become a more confident, respected leader.
So here’s my encouragement to you: pay attention to how you speak. Cut the clutter. Speak boldly. Your voice matters more than you think.
And if you haven’t read The Next Conversation yet, do yourself a favor—it’s a fresh resource I’ve found recently on how to lead with both strength and respect. Pick up a copy here
