The Guilt-Free NO
No is overemphasized, yet still completely underused. We have all heard how we need to say, “No,” but to this day, with all the motivational tips, we are still bound by our inability to say this simple, yet powerful word.
Saying, “no” allows you to pull back and focus on what matters most. It opens the door for a successful life. Even though most people know they need to say “no” more, they don’t follow through. They are trapped in yes’ claws and don’t know how to escape. Different personalities suffer different degrees of this torture, but make no mistake, everyone is attacked by the monster of yes. Always saying, “Yes!” will eventually distract you from your greatest contribution. I love how Steve Jobs said, “I’m actually as proud of the things we haven’t done as the things I have done.”
Guilt will steal your wellbeing. More things have been done out of guilt than probably any other emotion. It’s literally the culprit to most people’s instability. Psychologist Dr. Guy Winch wrote, “Studies have found that concentration, productivity, creativity, and efficiency are all significantly lower when you’re feeling actively guilty. It’s not only that guilt makes it hard to function, but…guilt makes us reluctant to enjoy life.”
Guilt is a thief; it sweeps in and takes any sense of confidence from you. The moment you start allowing guilt to slip in is the moment your wellbeing begins to slip away. Saying, “no” must be communicated with confidence. Confidence that you are doing the right thing. When you know why you are saying “no” it is easier to believe in it. Again, it’s when we are saying “no” with no real reasoning behind it that guilt begins to wreak havoc on us.
Having a strong sense of why you need to say “no” equips you with the confidence and courage to actually do it. If you continually tangle yourself up with busyness you’ll never propel forward as far. If you keep giving in to your old way of thinking you’ll limit your potential. You have to be committed to your future if you are going to take control of your present. The stronger your vision is of the person you want to become the more disciplined you’ll be to say “no” to the things that will keep you from it.
Start saying, “No” if you want to be intentional about your future. Remember, successful people don’t do everything, they just do a few things really well!