4 Ways Leaders Can Connect With People
The ability to connect with people is a leader’s greatest trait. All things being equal, it’s the leader who is able to relate with people that wins greater influence.
The old adage “you can’t manage what you don’t know” is particularly true in the leadership world. The more people that are actively engaged with you, the better off you’ll be. So often, leaders shy away from developing relationships because they assume it will take a lot of time and effort to do so. But in reality, if done correctly, investing time into these relationships actually saves a great deal of time down the line.
In today’s fast-paced world, it’s difficult to find the time to build relationships. The art of relationship building has been lost in email chains and text messages. However, if you want to make an impact on your team and organization then you need to take initiative and develop those relationships with those around you.
Relationships are the key to success in any organization. As a leader, you can’t expect your employees to work as hard for you if they don’t feel valued or appreciated. Building strong relationships with your team is one of the most important things you can do for yourself and them.
For some, connecting with people comes easily in their personality…for others, it is harder. Extroverts tend to get the credit when it comes to building relationships, but don’t allow that label to fool you. Even extroverts aren’t always a connector. And introverts can connect with people sometimes even better. Let me give you some helpful tips that both extroverts and introverts can apply:
1) Slow Down
A leader’s mantra is people then productivity. My mentor Dr. John C. Maxwell famously says, “Leaders touch a heart before they ask for a hand.” What a powerful statement. People are drawn to those who value them as a person. You can’t be so focused on tasks, projects, deadlines, etc… that you fail to take time for people. A leader who doesn’t have time to connect with people will eventually find themselves with no one to lead. You need to factor in people time just like you would project time. Create margin in your schedule to connect with your team and those you want to build influence with. If you are at the top of your organization, build a culture that creates time for connection. Better to take the time now for people and slow down on projects than to use your time on projects and eventually have no people to run the projects.
2) Look Up
When you’re busy with your head down on an agenda it’s easy to overlook those around you. If you are going to be in a meeting with someone you better maximize the opportunity to connect with them. You have to remember to value the who over the do. Don’t be so busy with what needs to be done and all the doing that you miss opportunities. Look around the room…or computer screen…to watch people and notice their behavior. Look for signs that may give you an indication of what you can do to help them. Great leaders are great observers. They are always scanning the room looking for moments of opportunity to engage with people.
3) Spotlight Others
There are two kinds of people when it comes to relationships:
- Here I am Type People
- There You Are Type People
Here I am type people talk about themselves. They put themselves in the spotlight making the conversation about them. There you are type of people turn the spotlight on others and give them attention. Great leaders are not necessarily in the spotlight, they are more like a spotlight operator always looking for those they can highlight. I don’t always come up with great quotes, but one of my favorites I came up with is, “The more you allow others to shine, the brighter you become.” I remember writing that years ago and it meant more to me than it did anyone else I think. I try to remember that as often as I can so as to live by it.
4) Find The One Thing
If you want to connect with people you don’t have to have everything in common. In fact, you just need to find the one thing you connect about and give it 100% of your effort. I have found that people like people who like them…and are like them. Truly showing interest in another connects you to them and when you find the one thing you connect about and give it 100% of your effort they will feel a common bond. This common bond is the gateway to building trust, respect, leadership, and influence with others.
Here’s my challenge to you: Start to practice initiating connecting with people today. In your next meeting or interaction with someone do something that will value others and repeat. Over time, you’ll begin to make it a habit of connecting.
