3 Tips To Help Leaders Master The Art Of Self Talk

Dr. James Gills is an individual who achieved an awe-inspiring feat – completing six double triathlons. He exemplifies what can be achieved with unwavering dedication, commitment, and a positive mindset. In this post, we will look at his journey and lessons that we can all apply in our leadership journeys.

Dr. James Gills is not only a legendary athlete but also a physician, entrepreneur, and philanthropist. His accomplishments are nothing short of inspiring, but what’s even more remarkable is the mindset he has cultivated to achieve his goals. In an interview with Runners World Magazine, Dr. Gills shared his secret to success – “I engage in a powerful internal dialogue. Instead of listening to the negative voice within, I actively talk to myself, empowering myself with positive thoughts and affirmations.”

Dr. Gills understood the power of self-talk and the impact it could have on his ability to persevere through adversity. We all face challenges in our leadership journeys. It can be easy to get bogged down by negative self-talk, self-doubt, and fear. That’s why it’s essential to cultivate a positive inner dialogue, one that empowers us to keep pushing forward even when the going gets tough.

Leaders are self-talkers. What I mean by this is they know how to talk to themselves, not just listen to themselves. If you just listen to yourself, you’ll likely take the path of least resistance and be subject to fleeting emotions. However, when you talk to yourself, you can push yourself harder and go further.

The most important person you’ll ever communicate with is yourself. What you say to yourself will determine the confidence you exude. The way you talk directs your path. How you speak will determine how you lead.

Here are three tips to help you master the art of self-talk:

1) What You Say

Your daily conversation will either be an encouragement or a discouragement to yourself; it’s your choice. Depending on the situation, I have personally found that I am my worst enemy or best friend. The person who controls my well-being is me. Consequently, I have a more challenging time with myself than anyone else. Over the years, I’ve learned this hard truth: the hardest person I will ever lead is me and me alone. What I say to myself determines how well I do. You can’t speak failure over your life and expect to live successfully. You’ll become what you tell yourself you are. Keep saying you’re a loser; sure enough, you’ll live out that experience. Keep saying you’re a winner, and watch how you’ll start to win in life. What you talk about, you tend to get more of. Keep your self-narrative meticulously positive, and I promise you’ll see unbelievable results.

2) How You Say It

Columbia University professor of psychology Ethan Kross studied how using different pronouns in your self-talk affects your performance. He formed two groups of people who were told they had to give a speech to a large group with only five minutes of preparation. On top of the already high-stress situation, he stated that this large group of people listening would be speech experts judging them and that their presentation would also be videotaped.

Both groups were told that positive self-talk would alleviate their stress and help their chances of being better communicators. One group was instructed to refer to themselves in the first person using the word “I” in their self-talk. The other group was instructed to refer to themselves in the second or third person, using their name or the word “you.” Kross’ study found that the second group who used second-person and third-person self-talk were considerably less stressed and performed significantly better in their presentations.”What we find is that a subtle linguistic shift—shifting from ‘I’ to your own name—can have really powerful self-regulatory effects,” Kross told NPR. “It’s almost like you are duping yourself into thinking about you as though you were another person,” Kross said.

You need to talk to yourself just as you would another person. Use your specific name to refer to yourself, and it will boost your confidence. Using your own name allows you to separate yourself from the challenges around you. It lifts you to a high vantage point above your situations. Speak to yourself as though you are already the person you desire to become.

3) When You Say It

Everyone deals with negative self-talk, especially when they are getting ready to do something outside their comfort zone. You’ll always hear the gremlin inside start to chatter when you push yourself further than ever. That negative voice will tell you that you can’t do it, it won’t work, or who do you think you are. It will try and limit you from your destiny. You must understand that negative self-talk will always whisper its screeching voice when you get ready to do something big. You have to combat that voice with a greater voice of confidence and courage. The moment that you hear the gremlin inside is the moment your inner warrior has to shout louder. It’s a fight. A battle that will determine if you’ll step out. Know that you’ll need to build yourself up when it is the hardest at times. Everything in you may want to tear yourself down, but you have to stand your ground. Expect this ugly voice to speak up as soon as you start to think bigger and crush its power with a shout of boldness within. Never let the ugly voice inside of you keep you from the great things in front of you.

Fill your mind with positive self-talk, and you’ll begin to boost your confidence over time.